Sue Scheff: Teens and Theft - Why it Happens

Teens and Theft: Why it Happens

Too Young to Start

There are almost as many reasons teens steal as there are things for teens to steal. One of the biggest reasons teens steal is peer pressure. Often, teens will steal items as a means of proving’ that they are “cool enough” to hang out with a certain group. This is especially dangerous because if your teen can be convinced to break the law for petty theft, there is a strong possibility he or she can be convinced to try other, more dangerous behaviors, like drinking or drugs. It is because of this that it is imperative you correct this behavior before it escalates to something beyond your control.

Another common reason teens steal is because they want an item their peers have but they cannot afford to purchase. Teens are very peer influenced, and may feel that if they don’t have the ‘it’ sneakers or mp3 player, they’ll be considered less cool than the kids who do. If your teen cannot afford these items, they may be so desperate to fit in that they simply steal the item. They may also steal money from you or a sibling to buy such an item. If you notice your teen has new electronics or accessories that you know you did not buy them, and your teen does not have a job or source of money, you may want to address whereabouts they came up with these items.

Teens may also steal simply for a thrill. Teens who steal for the ‘rush’ or the adrenaline boost are often simply bored and/ or testing the limits of authority. They may not even need or want the item they’re stealing! In cases like these, teens can act alone or as part of a group. Often, friends accompanying teens who shoplift will act as a ‘lookout’ for their friend who is committing the theft. Unfortunately, even if the lookout doesn’t actually steal anything, the can be prosecuted right along with the actual teen committing the crime, so its important that you make sure your teen is not aiding his or her friends who are shoplifting.

Yet another reason teens steal is for attention. If your teen feels neglected at home, or is jealous of the attention a sibling is getting, he or she may steal in the hopes that he or she is caught and the focus of your attention is diverted to them. If you suspect your teen is stealing or acting out to gain your attention, it is important that you address the problem before it garners more than just your attention, and becomes part of their criminal record. Though unconventional, this is your teen’s way of asking for your help- don’t let them down!

For more information on Teen Stealing.

by Sue Scheff and Parents Universal Resource Experts

Sue Scheff: Smoking Pot and Lung Damage

By Connect with Kids


“This latest study shows that you have destruction of lung tissue, reduction of lung vital capacity and a decreased ability to exhale if you smoke marijuana. What’s probably the most disturbing part of this latest article is that it shows that a cigarette is really much less potent than a joint of marijuana.”

– Fadlo Khuri, M.D., oncologist

According to the latest Monitoring the Future report, more than 40 percent of 12-graders have experimented with marijuana. In fact, it is the most commonly-abused illegal drug. While parents, teachers and physicians have been warning kids about pot for years, new information shows it’s even more dangerous than we thought.

Andrew was 14 years old when he first tried pot.

“I didn’t even inhale it all the way, I just took it into my mouth, but I loved the taste. I knew that I liked it,” says Andrew Wolpa, 18.

From there he experimented with alcohol, painkillers, mushrooms and almost every drug -- except one.

“I never smoked cigarettes because those things will kill ya, you know,” says Wolpa.

But according to a study by the Medical Research Institute of New Zealand, smoking one marijuana joint is equal to smoking five cigarettes at the same time.

“This latest study shows that you have destruction of lung tissue, reduction of lung vital capacity and a decreased ability to exhale if you smoke marijuana. What’s probably the most disturbing part of this latest article is that it shows that a cigarette is really much less potent than a joint of marijuana,” says Fadlo Khuri, M.D., oncologist.

And he says smoking pot can lead to emphysema and lung cancer.

“That’s a real problem because we only cure about 15 to 17 percent of all the people who present with lung cancer nowadays. So this is a disease in which you have a 1-in-6 chance of surviving it for five years or longer,” says Khuri.

Khuri says that talking about painful and serious diseases is one way to persuade kids not to use marijuana.

“Confronting them with the data, showing them what the outcomes are with lung cancer and emphysema, with what some individuals would consider even moderate marijuana or cigarette use,” says Khuri.

Andrew says even though he’s in rehab, he’s not ready to quit.

“I don’t want to be clean yet. I’m not there,” says Wolpa.

Tips for Parents

From the Nemours Foundation:

Marijuana is the most widely used illegal drug in the United States. It is a dry, shredded green/brown mix of flowers, stems, seeds, and leaves of the plant Cannabis Sativa. A stronger form of marijuana called hashish (hash) looks like brown or black cakes or balls. Street names for marijuana include pot, herb, weed, grass, Jane, reefer, dope, and ganja.

Marijuana is typically smoked in cigarettes (joints or spliffs), hollowed-out cigars (blunts), pipes (bowls), or water pipes (bongs). Some people mix it into food or brew it as a tea.
Marijuana is just as damaging to your lungs as cigarettes – and some reports show that it is even worse. Steady users suffer coughs, wheezing, frequent colds, and respiratory infections, such as bronchitis.

There are more than 400 known chemicals in marijuana. A single joint contains four times as much cancer-causing tar as a filtered cigarette. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

References
Nemours Foundation
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Sue Scheff: Lying, Cheating, Stealing by Connect with Kids

When Nobody's Looking

In When Nobody's Looking, the latest research shows that cheating is at an all time high. Seven out of 10 students admit to cheating in school and sports - and more than half of them believe it is acceptable. Nine of out 10 students say they lie to their parents, and nearly 50 percent of shoplifters are adolescents.

How can you help children become more ethical, truthful and responsible? Watch When Nobody's Looking, and listen to the true stories in the program. It’s a perfect way to begin a conversation about your own values and expectations... to understand your children’s fears, the pressure they feel, their worries about college, scholarships, homework. You’ll also get the latest advice from interviews with child experts and educators, and important information from the free Program Viewing Guide.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Coping with Bullies

Invisible Weapon - by Connect with Kids

Adults may think children bullies are just a part of growing up, but what if it was your kids saying things like this about bullying at school:

"I had nowhere to go, no one to tell. I thought I was fat and stupid and no one wanted be around me.” - Sarah

“They called me four-eyes, homo…until I started to believe it.” - Alex

“I was scared all the time to go to school.” - Jay

Invisible Weapons is a moving half-hour video that’s ideal for parents and children to watch and learn together. Painful, true stories show how kids are taunted and teased by children bullies, harassed and excluded, and how bullying at school made them victims of nasty rumors and gossip.

It’s More Than Just Bullying at School

Bullies and “mean girls” leave wounds that often go deeper than broken bones and bloody noses. You’ll hear from victims as they tell how bullying at school affected their grades, their self-confidence and their relationships.

Listen as children bullies themselves share their stories and regrets. “Maybe I thought making fun of Sarah was cool,” says Ashley, “or that it would make me have more friends.”

There are ways to stop this kind of emotional pain. Hear what experts have to say by ordering Invisible Weapons to learn what you can do about children bullies.

Sue Scheff: Teaching Empathy in Schools - by Connect with Kids

“Students come out the other side not only with a better education in the subject areas, but they are better citizens.”

– Paul Weimer, director, Character Education Partnership

The No Child Left Behind federal act has many students spending the majority of their day reading, writing and practicing math. However, a new study finds that character education, anti-bullying efforts and lessons in respecting and empathizing with others can actually raise children’s test scores.

“Most of my lessons of character and respect … I learned at home from my mom and my dad,” says Maceo, 13.

But now some schools are teaching lessons about empathy, cooperation and caring about others.

“Okay, what is kindness?” asks a teacher to her student.

Researchers at the University of Illinois analyzed the findings of more than 200 studies. They found that when schools help kids learn to manage their emotions and practice empathy and caring, both their behavior and their grades improve.

“Students come out the other side not only with a better education in the subject areas, but they are better citizens,” says Paul Weimer, director, Character Education Partnership.

But some students say you don’t learn emotional skills with a lecture.

“If they just force us to sit here and understand, it’s going to be sort of hard,” says Susan, 13.

Instead, experts say character skills and emotional growth come with practice.

In one outreach program, high school students spend time with younger kids who need a little help.

“It’s a chance for kids to show that there is character there, ” says Mik, 17.

“What we’re hoping is by making this prevalent in our curriculum, by infusing it into the curriculum and mentioning these words again and again, that our students will hear this, internalize it and they will in turn do these things automatically,” says Nancy Zarovsky, teacher.

Experts say that while character education at school is always helpful, it is considerably less effective if the child’s family and community don’t teach or support those same values.

Tips for Parents

To teach these lessons, we must make the issues of care, connection and civic action part of the core curriculum and school culture. We must look thoughtfully at the ways young people see society operating and help them develop a larger sense of meaning for their lives. (AASA)

Whether we’re feeling empathy when a loved one endures pain, or feeling relief from pain due to a placebo, pain-sensitive regions of our brains are at work — either creating or diminishing the experience of human pain. (MSNBC)

“The ability to “tune in” and empathize with others is a prerequisite for understanding, attachment, bonding and love — all of which are important for our survival,” says Tania Singer, Department of Imaging Neuroscience at University College, London.

Social understanding and social responsibility build on children's desire to understand and feel effective in the social world, to maintain connection with others and to reach out to those in distress. (American Association of School Administrators, AASA)

References

MSNBC
Tania Singer, Department of Imaging Neuroscience at University College, London
American Association of School Administrators (AASA)

Sue Scheff: Troubled Teenagers? How the Teenage Mind Works by Connect with Kids

The Teenage Brain

Are you dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of raising a teenager? Teens are impulsive, stubborn and moody. A troubled teenager will yell at you one minute and hug you the next.

What’s a parent to do?

Get The Teenage Brain and see the latest research to help you understand defiant teenagers and how their mind actually works. You’ll improve your parenting skills and learn how to influence troubled teenagers and how to better communicate with them.Find out what makes defiant teenagers tick.New research shows that there are clear-cut, physical differences between an adult’s brain and a teenager’s brain – differences that explain typical “teen behavior.”

The Teenage Brain is a compelling video program that gives families with troubled teenagers hope while providing the latest facts, tips from experts, advice from health practitioners, stories from teens themselves and much more.When it comes to teenagers, you can never have enough parenting skills.If you have teens, part of your job is to develop their mind. New research shows that you can actually shape the structure of your child’s brain – so shouldn’t you understand how troubled teenagers' or defiant teenagers' brains work? Now you

can.

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As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) keeping parents informed about today’s teens and the issues they face today is imperative for parents, teachers and others to continue to learn about.

Connect with Kids, like Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, brings awareness to parents and other raising with and working with today’s kids.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways?

Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Parents' Universal Resource Experts: Anxious Teens and Depressed Teens

Leave me alone!

We all know teenagers can be moody, impulsive and irritable – but how can parents tell if the tears will go away or if they’re a sign of something more? When your teen slams the door and shouts “Leave me alone!” – should you? Will your child be safe? Or are there signs of depression, anxiety, even suicidal thoughts?

Every parent needs to know the warning signs – when life feels too heavy or too scary for your son or daughter to handle alone. Every parent needs to know what treatments are available and what works with kids.

Every parent needs to watch Leave Me Alone!

You’ll hear actual teenagers talk about their struggles, giving you insight into what your own child may be feeling.

You’ll learn practical parenting advice from child experts about what you can do to help your teen face the fears and alleviate the pain. And you’ll hear the inspiration and hope of families whose children are living happier, healthier lives.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teenagers Cutting Themselves by Connect with Kids

The Enemy Inside

It's hard to understand teenagers cutting themselves, but kids do deliberately burn, scratch and cut themselves until they bleed. Even the kids involved with teenage cutting can’t tell you why it makes them feel better... at least for the moment.

They can tell you that it’s addictive and scary.“Cutting” is the most popular form of self-injury today, and it is on the rise among adolescents. Teenagers cutting themselves is a sign of emotional pain but it can also lead to major physical injury... and even death in some cases.

The addictive nature of this condition allows it to spin quickly out of control.How can you help prevent teenage cutting?The first step is communication, but talking about teenage cutting isn’t easy.

The Enemy Inside can help. Compelling true stories from kids who struggle with self-injury will help explain why kids do it, why they want to stop – and so often why they can’t. You’ll also hear expert advice for parents, teachers and counselors, on how to help prevent this kind of self-harm cutting and how to suggest healthier alternatives.

Order your copy of The Enemy Inside to learn what you need to know about teenagers cutting themselves and to see why Connect with Kids programs have been shown to improve youth behavior and increase communication between parents and children.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Teens and Vandalism by Sue Scheff

Teens and Vandalism


The US Department of Justice defines vandalism as “willful or malicious destruction, injury, disfigurement, or defacement of any public or private property.” Vandalism can encompass many different acts, including graffiti, public unrest, rioting, and other types of criminal mischief, like breaking windows or arson. Even seemingly harmless pranks like egging and toilet papering homes are considered vandalism in most states.

Unfortunately, many acts of vandalism may go unnoticed in the home, because teens can easily avoid bringing any evidence back with them. This is why it is of particular importance that parents make an effort to know where their teens are at all times. Keeping an open dialogue with your teen about his schedule and friends can help you to better keep tabs on him. A teen that knows his parents care is more likely to avoid criminally mischievous behaviors in the first place.

If you suspect your teen is engaging in vandalism, don’t be afraid to discuss your fears with your teen. While again, it is important to not be accusatory, you should leave no doubt in your teen’s mind that you believe any act of vandalism- big or small- is wrong. Often, teens think vandalism is a ‘victimless crime’; in other words, they don’t believe they’re hurting anyone by spray painting graffiti on a brick building, or tossing a few eggs at a neighbor’s car. This kind of thinking is your perfect segue into teaching your teen just how wrong vandalism can be. When your teen defiantly tells you that “nobody got hurt,” explain to them that by spray-painting the façade of his high school, they costs the taxpayers (including you) money to have the graffiti covered and the crime investigated. Remind them that the money for these repairs has to come from somewhere, and that every dollar wasted to fix vandalism is a dollar that must now be cut from somewhere else.

Maybe the school will have one less dance, or will be forced to cut out arts programs or programs for under privileged students. If your teen has been egging homes, point out the waste of food that some families cannot even afford. Remind them that someone will have to scrape the dried egg off your neighbor’s windshield, possibly making him late for work, costing him time and money.

Read more about Criminal Mischief with Teens - Click Here.

Television and Voilence by Connect with Kids

“I think when people play video games and people watch videos and they see violence a lot, it just becomes natural to them and it just doesn't seem bad anymore, and it really is.”

– Donovan, 15

New research about the influence of media violence on children may offer a startling new way to predict who will grow up to be a violent adult: find out how much violence on television and in the movies children watched when they were 6, 8 or 10 years old.

When they watch television, movies and video games, Benford and his buddies are impressed by the violence.

“I just think it’s pretty cool -- blow up somebody,” says Benford, 16.

“Just stuck him on a hook and it came through the stomach,” says Seth, 15.

“And his guts go everywhere,” says Benford.

How powerful is media violence? Researchers at the University of Michigan have been tracking more than 800 children for more than 40 years. They started in 1960 and they found that the more young children were exposed to media violence, the more likely they were to end up as violent adults. In fact, media violence was a better predictor of later crime and violence than poverty, substance abuse or even abusive parents.

“Television is on in the average American home about eight hours a day. At the same time, people are engaged in what we call interpersonal familial conversations with one another for about four minutes a day. So where are they getting their messages? Clearly they’re getting their messages from the media,” says Art Silverblatt, PhD, professor of communications.

Experts say the message is that violence is normal.

“They become desensitized to aggression and violence. And I think that the more they’re exposed to it as well, the more they’re likely to use that form of behavior to solve problems,” says Jennifer Kelly, Ph.D., psychologist.

“I think when people play video games and people watch videos and they see violence a lot, it just becomes natural to them and it just doesn’t seem bad anymore, and it really is,” says Donovan, 15.

Experts say parents can’t eliminate all media violence in a child’s life, but they can use a violent scene to teach kids about the reality of it.

“Talk about what you think happened to that person’s family … the mourning that occurred and how the parents or somebody else’s life could be changed as a result of this aggressive violent act,” says Kelly.

Tips for Parents

Advice from the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF):
Limit game-playing time to no more than one hour per day.
Play with your child to become familiar with the games.
Provide alternative ways for your child to spend time.
Require that homework and jobs be done first; use video game playing as a reward.
Do not put a video game set in a child’s room where he/she can shut the door and isolate himself/herself.
Talk about the content of the games.
Ask your video store to require parental approval before a violently rated video game can be rented by children.

When buying video games for your child, it is important to purchase games targeted to his/her age group. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) rates every video and computer game for age appropriateness (located on the front of the packaging) and, when appropriate, labels games with content descriptions. The ESRB’s current rating standard is as follows:

EC – Early Childhood (3 and older)
E – Everyone (6 and older)
E10+ – Everyone (10 and older)
T – Teens (13 and older)
M – Mature audiences (17 and older)
AO – Adults Only
RP – Rating Pending

Talk to other parents. Find out which games other parents like and dislike, as well as which games they let your child play when he/she visits their house. This is a good way to learn about the games that your child enjoys and those that other parents approve of, and to let other parents know which games you do not want your child playing. (ESRB)

Know your child. Different children handle situations differently. Regardless of age, if your child becomes aggressive or unsettled after playing violent video games, don’t buy games with violence in them. Likewise, if your child likes playing games with characters that look like him/her, purchase games with characters that fit the bill. (ESRB)

References

National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF)
The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB)

Kids Still Using Drugs by Connect with Kids

“It was just the thing, and everybody’s smoking and parties and raves and all kinds of … drugs.”
– Ebony, high school student

The billions of dollars spent on the war against drugs may have increased awareness and saved lives in this country, but the totalnumber of kids who use tobacco, alcohol and drugs is still staggering. A new Federal report showing how many kids begin experimenting every day is startling.

Every single day in America, 8,000 teenagers have their first drink; 4,000 try their first cigarette. More than 3,600 smoke marijuana for the first time, and 4,000 are introduced to inhalants, cocaine, methamphetamine and other drugs.

That’s just today; at midnight the count begins all over again.

“For a lot of kids, it’s just the opening up of adolescence. Suddenly they have money; they have disposable income. They have new peer groups that they are trying to measure up to,” says Armando Corpus, drug treatment counselor.

Ebony Marie was one teen trying to measure up.

“It was just the thing, and everybody’s smoking and parties and raves and all kinds of drugs,” says White.

At 13, Ebony started smoking cigarettes and then moved on to marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, and finally, methamphetamines. Within a few months she was a drug addict.

“I am [a drug addict] and I know I am because I love drugs,” says Ebony.

Experts say that a teen’s first experience with drugs or alcohol makes the decision to use drugs again a lot easier.

“There is a line that you cross, at least psychologically, that this is something I do; at least, this is something I experiment with,” says Corpus.

He says too many parents surrender to the philosophy that teen experimentation is inevitable, and then they are surprised.

“I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve come across who say, ‘All I knew was that he was smoking marijuana once in a while. I didn’t know he was doing cocaine. I didn’t know he was doing methamphetamine,’” says Corpus.

Now in recovery, Ebony has been off drugs for several months. She hopes forever.

“Because it doesn’t get you anywhere but jails, institutions and death,” says Ebony.

Tips for Parents

To help prevent your child from using illegal substances or turning to prescription drugs to get high, it's a good idea to begin discussing substance abuse with your child at an early age, and continue openly communicating about the issues as your child grows. (Nemours Foundation)

Take advantage of "teachable moments." If you and your child see a character on TV or in a movie who is smoking or using an illegal substance, talk to your child about what smoking and substance abuse does to a person's body, mind, life. (Nemours Foundation)

When your child becomes a teenager, you can address the issue in a more direct way. Talk about both the more immediate and the long-term health effects of substance abuse and tell your child where you stand. (Nemours Foundation)

If you suspect that your child may be abusing prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) medicines or painkillers, it's a good idea to: (Nemours Foundation)

Lock your medicine cabinet, or keep medicines that could potentially be abused in a less accessible place.

Avoid stockpiling medicines. Having too many at your teen's disposal could make abusing them more tempting.

Keep track of how much is in each container in your medicine cabinet.
Keep an eye out not only for traditional-looking cough and cold remedies in your teen's room, but also strange-looking tablets.

Monitor your child's Internet usage. Be on the lookout for suspicious websites and emails that seem to be promoting the abuse of drugs, both legal and illegal.

It's also important to provide a warm and open environment at home where your child is encouraged to talk about feelings, and knows that he or she can bring you tricky questions and concerns without fear of judgment and punishment. (Nemours Foundation)

References

Nemours Foundation

Sue Scheff Launches New Websites for Parents with At Risk Teens

As I continue to keep parents up to date with today's teen - I have recently launched the following websites:

Teen Suicide

Teen Mischief

Teen Cults

Teen Drug Addiction

Identity Crisis - Adopted Teens